4 Personality Types
Everyone of us that have been in a relationship may ask from time to time “why do they do that?”. It usually just boils down to that is just the way the person is wired.
You see, each of us are influenced primarily by one of the 4 personality types.
Here is a list of the 4 personality types and how it affects their behavior:
- Sanguine – The Sanguine person is a fun loving extroverted type of personality. They are the life of the party. On the surface everyone loves a Sanguine, but they do have their issues. Sanguines are easily distracted and as a result can sometimes have a problem finishing tasks. Sanguine personalities can be emotional at times. Commitment can sometimes be an issue for the Sanguine.
- Choleric – Get out of the way here comes the Choleric. Choleric personalities are get it done type people. They like to run the show and can sometimes be overbearing.
- Phlegmatic – Phlegmatics play it cool. They are usually even tempered, loyal, and not prone to stir things up. They very much prefer stability as opposed to taking a risk. Usually very kind and affectionate, but can easily be taken advantage of by stronger personalities such as a Choleric.
- Melancholic – A melancholic personality is very detailed oriented. Usually on time for all appointments and very much the perfectionist. A melancholy can get their feelings hurt very badly. Melancholic personalities can be creative in the arts and are usually deep thinkers.
Although an individual usually has bits and pieces of each of the 4 personality traits built into their persona, one is usually dominant. Figure out which one is dominant, and you will be able to know how to deal with your boyfriend or girlfriend.
Here’s a great video that covers the 4 personality types:
A Good Example of How Personality Differences Affect a Relationship
An example of how understanding your boyfriend or girlfriend better would help could be illustrated by the following example.
Let’s take a Sanguine guy who is dating a Melancholy girl. The Melancholic girl is very excited about their 1 year anniversary, and has bought a new dress and fixed herself up in anticipation of a nice evening with her guy. Now mind you nothing was discussed in advance of this evening.
The Sanguine guy shows up later that evening dressed like he normally does with a friend in tow suggesting that the three of them all go out to the club together. Big mistake on his part.
But did the Sanguine guy mean anything by it? No probably not. After all, he did think to go back home and get his girlfriend before heading out to the club. So obviously he was trying to do anything to exclude her.
The fact that is was their anniversary probably never crossed his mind. He totally forgot.
But being a Melancholic, his girlfriend got her feelings hurt terribly, and instead of having a nice time together, they end up in a fight and doing separate things for the night. She couldn’t believe that he forgot something so important as their anniversary. How could he?
Who is at Fault?
Neither of them are at fault. It is just the way the two of them are wired.
But both need to work on some things in order for their relationship to be a success.
He must try to pay attention to important dates and events, and she needs to be more understanding if he somehow forgets such an event.
But even more than that, in this relationship, if there is an event like this, the Melancholy needs to discuss it with the Sanguine in advance of the event to alleviate such a scene.
There is a wonderful book called Personality Plus written by Florence Littauer that covers the personality types in full detail. If you understand the 4 personality types and how they affect all of your relationships, including your romantic relationships, you will find it much easier to get along with your lover as well as people in general.